Road of Love
by Marine Brother Shran
Summary: Sometimes one had to fight to keep that relation going, and sometimes, one struggled to accept their own feelings, and the results of admitting those feelings to myself, and person of my feelings. This is my story, and the road I took to find love. [NF]
1. Prologue

**Road of Love**

**Prologue**

I had once heard from an English song that said love was a battlefield. It was true in many ways. One had to sometimes fight for the attention of such love. Sometimes one had to fight to keep that relation going, and then there were the regular quarrels between such pairs. I had experienced all these and more, except instead of having to struggle for attention, I struggled with something greater. I struggled to accept my own feelings, and the results of admitting those feelings to myself, and person of my feelings.

One may think that these struggles were not worth it, and that a love without struggle was the best way to go. Yet that was nothing more than ideal, a vision of the perfect love, but nothing was ever truly perfect. It was what we made of the situation that made it perfect. Many of my friends on Earth often questioned why I chose the person whom I had chosen. I would always reply with a smile and say, "Because I'm in love."

The path I had taken was hard. It was really difficult, especially during my high school life, before I had started to work full time with the Bureau.

Considering how I had grown up, I wasn't familiar with a lot of Earth's customs, which including relationship conventionalities. All I knew was that I had fallen in love, and that I had admitted what I had felt to that person. I had not expected the aftermath of starting such a relationship. People looked at us differently. Some of us considered us freaks, while others considered us heroes. But thankfully, there were those who stayed by us, any preconceptions thrown out in preference to our friendship. We were grateful that they stood by us.

Even nowadays, I'm asked if I'm happy with the person who has held my heart for the last 21 years. Again I always replied with a smile, and simply say "Yes" in response. Some people would look at my sceptically, but those who knew the whole story never had to ask. They would simply smile in approval of my choice, and would continue to support us. They knew it was our choice when we had finally decided to marry. Our families, although a bit shocked, more so my spouse's family, they accepted it without much reservation, save for a few promises I made with my spouse's parents I intended to keep.

You may be asking why I'm telling you this. It's simple really: I just want to. I want to share what happened to me 6 years after the Book of Darkness incident, where it all began. It was in high school where it all began for us, when we had first stepped on that road of love. A bit cheesy somewhat I admit, but that's one of my friends had characterised it.

My name is Takamachi Fate T.H., wife of Takamachi Nanoha, godmother of Takamachi Vivio, and birthmother of two boys: Takuya and Shinji, and one daughter: Alicia. This is my story, and these are my precious memories.

**I don't know where I'm going with this story, but depending on what you guys think of this intro, I may go on with the story. Mind you that this is going to go through some various twists and turns prior to hitting StrikerS, and even then it's going to be different.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Road of Love**

**Chapter I**

**Fate's story starts off roughly around the time of the A's epilogue, which somewhat includes the manga, but not to the letter. I'll run with this for now, and based on the quality of the reviews, I may or may not continue it after the initial few chapters.**

**Also, please comment on my characterisation of Fate. This is what'll give me a basis and understanding of her character from other's perspective to create a more in character Fate.**

I've always been thankful for Nanoha's friendship. She saved me from my mother, from myself. Since those days when we were 9, to now, at 15, there was always this bond between us. Hayate's comment this afternoon made us aware of it.

"You know, although the three of us are friends, Nanoha-chan and Fate-chan, you two seem to share something more, something really special, that I could only guess or dream of."

Nanoha had laughed at the comment telling that she was only seeing things and that me and her were only good friends.

Unfortunately for me, it stirred something inside, which I feared would affect us in the future. And unfortunately, that reply of hers had hurt.

That night, I had thought long and hard on Hayate's comment. When she had stated it earlier today, I had felt something trigger in myself, but I hadn't dwelled on it at the time as we had to concentrate on a school project. But that night, as I allowed my thoughts to revolve around it, I had come to a startling revelation: what I felt towards her was beyond friendship. I didn't exactly know what exactly it was I felt around her, but it wasn't friendship. It wasn't the same feeling as I felt between Hayate, Suzuka, or Arisa; it was much deeper.

I didn't dwell on it long, as I had school in the morning, and I knew Lindy didn't like it if I ended up staying up late for some reason. Pushing the thoughts aside, I went to sleep. Sadly, it didn't turn out that well.

I woke up feeling horrible. I wasn't ill, but I felt terrible anyways. Even in sleep, I couldn't help but think about Hayate's words. What was it that I feel around Nanoha? I don't really know, and for some reason, it hurt a little.

Lindy wasn't happy with what she saw. She said that I looked horrible, and asked if I was getting enough sleep. I had told her that I had gone to bed around 11, and the house had confirmed it. However, it had noted that I had been tossing and turning all night. Lindy made a big fuss about it, but in the end she let me go to school, warning me not to exert myself.

I kept that in mind. With the little amount of sleep I actually got, I highly doubted that doing my usual tennis activities would be a good idea. I loved tennis. After being introduced to the sport, I had developed a real liking to it. It helped relieve stress, and it was good exercise. Our team's been the best in the district for the past few years, and I was going to be on the competing team this year.

Maybe playing some tennis will get my mind off things. It's helped before. Either that or I can probably come up with some answers to my problems, even if I strained myself just a little bit. Although I would normally turn to Nanoha, I don't think this was something she could help me with. Not when I didn't even know what my problem was. Hayate, why did you have to go and do this to me?

Ahead, I suddenly heard Hayate calling out to me, brightly waving at me. Returning the wave, I quickly got up to her.

"Ohayo, Fate-chan" she happily greeted.

"Ohayo, Hayate-chan," I greeted back quietly. Her happy attitude sometimes irked me, but it couldn't be helped. Before she had met Signum and the others 6 years ago, she had been living alone with no family or friends. I guess she was just trying to live her life to the fullest. I guess I would too, if it wasn't for the fact I'm technically only 6 years old, 9 years her junior. My life had begun the moment I had woken up, with Alicia's memories.

Every time I thought about Alicia, I always thought about that one brief moment I had truly gotten to know her. I knew within my heart that world wasn't real, but, sometimes, I wish I could've lived in that world for just a bit longer, to see the realization of my dream, even if it was something so fragile. But at least I had a chance to meet her, even if it was only based on her memories.

Soon enough Nanoha, Suzuka, and Arisa arrive, waving their arms in greeting towards us. I didn't know why, but my cheeks suddenly felt hot. Was I actually blushing? I must've been as Hayate said how my face was red and asked if I was feeling alright.

I had managed to push down the blush, but the damage was already done. Something stirred even more inside me as I watched Nanoha get closer to me. Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable to be around her. I didn't know why, but I pushed the feeling down. She was my best friend. I wasn't going to ruin it by changing my attitude. I hope.

"Ohayo Hayate-chan, Fate-chan," she happily greeted. I felt a blush creep up along my cheeks, but I held it down.

"Ohayo Nanoha-chan," I greeted, smiling back. She suddenly laughed that all too familiar laugh of hers, and this time I couldn't hold down my blush. What was wrong with me? I never felt this way before. What's going on? I hoped someone was able to help me later.

Most of the day had passed by, but it was one of the most embarrassing days of my life. When we were changing for PE, I almost fainted from a sudden blood rush when I saw her in nothing but her bra and panties. What's wrong with me? I've seen her like this before, but never like this. What's wrong with me? And the thoughts that ran through my head could've possibly been enough to fill an erotic story. I was so embarrassed that it left me feeling a bit faint at one point during class when I had stumbled during a run. The image of Nanoha in lingerie was enough to throw me off.

The first thing I did when I got home, I dropped my stuff in my room and locked it, turned off my cell phone, and just flopped onto my bed. What's wrong with me? I seem to be asking myself that a lot.

What are you doing to me Nanoha? Why did your laugh make me react like that? I've heard your laugh so many times throughout the years we've known each other and nothing like this has ever happened before. What's so different this time? What was it that made me blush like that?

What was it that made me react like that when you started to change? I've seen you so many times in nothing but your underwear, I think once or twice in your birthday suit. Yes we blushed seeing each other naked, but I've never felt like I was about to light up on fire. For some reason, I felt I was looking at something sacred, something that was to be respected and be given its right to privacy.

My feelings were a mess. I wanted to be with you, yet I felt I'm not. I want to distance myself so that I didn't hurt myself, yet I wanted to be close to you, and never let go. This feeling was so foreign to me, yet I think I felt this way towards you for as long as I knew you.

I had no idea what was going on. I needed help, and right now, I think there's only one person I think I could really ask right now. I just hope Lindy can help me.

I suddenly heard someone knock on my door as the knocker said, "Fate-chan, are you alright?" I smiled in surprise, considering I was just about to look for her. Quickly unlocking the door, I let Lindy in. Sitting back down on my bed, while she sat on my chair, we stayed like that for a while. I don't know how, but she seemed to know what was going on in my head as she let me try to put together my thoughts. I was grateful, because in all honesty, now that I was about to talk to her, I really didn't know what I was going to say. This was embarrassing in so many ways as I tried to put my thoughts together.

"You want to start from the beginning?" she offered suddenly, drawing me out from my thoughts as I looked up at her in surprise, silently questioning what she meant.

"When did all this start to happen?" she asked, kindly smiling at me as she made herself comfortable.

"Yesterday when Hayate said something about Nanoha and me having a really close bond," I began, since it was that comment that started this whole mess, at least for me.

"She does have a point," Lindy commented. "You and Nanoha-san have been through a lot that girls your age only dream about. Although, it wasn't exactly an experience most girls would like." I could only nod in agreement, the memories of my late mother still strong in my memories. I never let it get to me, but it still hurt anyways.

"Anyways, continue," she stated. I smiled at her statement. Even if she was my mother of only a few years, she knew me as well as a mother knew her own daughter.

"Well, it was why I woke up like I did," I continued. "I think I was thinking a lot about myself and Nanoha, and somehow it affected my sleep.

"This morning, I felt odd around Nanoha. It's hard to explain but, I think I blushed a lot when I was around her."

"What do you feel, when you're around her," she asked as I watched her sit down next to me.

Looking down at my hands, I answered truthfully. "I'm not sure. One minute, I enjoy being around her, the next I feel like it isn't enough. I feel like my heart's being tugged towards her, maybe even calling out towards her. I really don't know. I want to treasure her, to treat her like a precious jewel and protect her from all that would possibly harm her.

"And this afternoon, when we were changing and I saw her," I paused a bit, the memory of her in her underwear causing me to blush. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I drew the courage to speak.

"I blushed and, I felt I wanted, I wanted to worship her very skin."

"Oh my," Lindy sighed. Looking up at my mother, I could see the realisation and understanding in her face, but I felt I saw something else: worry and pity towards me. Why? Why would she worry about me and feel pity towards me?

"Kaa-san," I suddenly asked when Lindy pulled me into a hug.

"Fate," she began, noticeably dropping the suffix, which bothered me somewhat, as she never dropped it unless it was something important, or she was scolding me. "You're, you're in love with Nanoha-san."

"What?"

In love? With Nanoha? But, but how? How could I be in love with my best friend? It didn't make sense, and yet it did. No, this had to be a mistake. This had to be a cruel joke. I mean, this was my best friend, and not only that, she was a girl. It was looked down upon by the people of this planet if it was a same-sex relationship. It just wouldn't work out.

Lindy said nothing. She just kept hugging as she let me sort my thoughts out.

As I thought about it, I think it's true. Although I felt close to Chrono and Yuuno, both whom were males I could've felt strong feelings towards, nothing ever went beyond that of a close sibling relationship. I could never imagine myself with them. And as I thought about it, I never felt any attraction towards boys, even those whom were considered hot.

Hugging Lindy tightly, I slowly thought more and more about it. I, I think when I said closer, I think I'd like to be able to hold her. I think I want to be able to treasure her in a way no one could ever, to protect her like no one could. I still remembered that accident four years ago.

I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose her, the very person who had saved me from the darkness I had allowed myself to be swallowed into. I remembered spending days by her bedside, only leaving to deal with my own needs, such as hygiene, and food. We were lucky it was during winter break, but it was the worst we had ever spent. She had been in a coma since the accident. Shamal had thought she wouldn't wake up until after the New Year. Somehow, she had been wrong, and Nanoha had woken up Christmas Eve.

I had been so happy when she woken up. Seeing her lying in her bed like that had torn me up. I had beaten myself everyday, mentally telling myself I could've saved her had I requested to join that mission as well. I don't know how long I did it, but I probably did it everyday since I had heard about her accident. I couldn't stand the fact I wasn't there when she was suffering. I had been on assignment, and was ready to return and spend a day with Hayate and Nanoha, only to exit my CO's office and run into Hayate and being told what happened to Nanoha.

I had cried that day. I recalled crying my heart out as I saw by your bed, quietly watching over you, quietly speaking to you, all in hopes of waking you up. It was the worst break I had ever spent. I had only felt this much pain when my mother said she hated me. Although I had suffered greatly with her, the suffering I had gone through during those few weeks you were in a coma, were the worst days I had ever spent. If it weren't the fact you had taught me to live for myself, I'd probably have rotted away as I waited for what could've been the impossible.

When you had come to, I was so happy. I remember crying really hard as I hugged you, despite your injuries. But you didn't mind. You simply hugged me back, albeit awkwardly, telling me it was going to be alright. But to me, it wasn't alright. You were hurt, and I couldn't do anything about it. It was like when I had arrived after Vita had defeated you, and then had your Linker Core absorbed during that same night. I felt so helpless. You were lying there in bed, hardly able to move while I was perfectly fit and healthy. I could've done something. I could've asked to go on the same mission as you, but I didn't. And then that had happened.

I wasn't able to get over that right away, but I think helping with Nanoha's rehabilitation helped me deal with it. I suppose helping her relearn how to walk, among other things helped relieve some of the burden I had felt. But, I don't know if that feeling will ever leave me. Maybe I could turn it into something constructive later.

Sighing to myself, I realized that this mess was probably going to add on to the problems I already had.

I still found it hard to believe that I was in love with her. It was really hard to swallow. I don't know if I had the courage to accept it, and admit it, to myself and Nanoha. It could possibly ruin our bond forever. I don't know what I would do if I lost my friendship to her. I really wouldn't know.

"Can you imagine holding her in your arms," Lindy suddenly said, pulling me out from my thoughts. "Do you feel light hearted around you? Can you see yourself kissing her in a romantic way? Does your heart feel like a heavy weight when you're away from her?"

I let the questions roll through my mind for a while as I tried to bring up images she told me, and to my surprise, it wasn't that hard. But at the same time, I felt really disturbed.

Just thinking about her, her bright smile, her laughter, her hardworking attitude, just thinking about her brought a smile to my face. And at the same time, the weight grew heavier and heavier by the second as I thought more and more about her. I felt this strong need to see her. It felt like it was going to rip into me as the feelings ate away at me like a parasite trying to live off me.

My thoughts suddenly shifted to an image of her in nothing but her bra and panties.

I blushed as my mind somehow created this image of the two of us, sitting on a couch sitting side by side holding one another underneath a blanket in nothing but our underwear as we silently watched TV, possibly a movie. The more I thought about it, the more I felt my blush burn while Lindy constantly stroked her hand through my hair. I relaxed a bit, but my mind was still a mess. I still didn't know what to make of it. I found it hard to accept it. I really do.

And kissing, I couldn't get the sudden image out of my mind. Did I really want to kiss her? How would she think if she ever knew these thoughts were in my mind? I don't know if I could live with myself if it ever happened.

"I know it's hard to accept," Lindy suddenly stated. I gasped in surprise. Over the years, she always seemed to know things that were happening in my mind. Although it was somewhat creepy, it helped a lot when I was at a loss for words.

"Just think about it for a while," she continued. "Don't rush into this. If you strongly believe you want this, then try. Otherwise, try to accept it, and move on. Don't hurt yourself or your friendship because you're silently attracted to Nanoha-san. And, try to not let it affected your life. Okay?" I simply nodded. I was still at a loss for words.

"Let me give you one peace of advice though," she began in that motherly tone she had been developing over the years. "Every relation you take is a shot in the dark, and it's without its inherent risks. When it comes to down to it, it comes down to whether or not you want to take the risk, whether or not you want to take the shot, and tell her your feelings. I know it's hard, but I know you'll do the right thing."

Lindy then simply kissed my forehead, ruffled my hair a bit, and then left, sparing me one of her motherly smiles, and left me alone.

Lying down on my bed, I silently thought about it. Did I want to be in a relationship with Nanoha? This was so new to me. I've never been in love before, and here I've been told that I've fallen in love, with my best friend of all people, who also happened to be my own gender. Although the idea of her being my girlfriend was somehow appealing, there were so many things that I couldn't help but worry about.

Glancing up at my alarm clock, I noted it was 6 pm at night. Dragging myself out of bed, I changed into some more comfortable clothing, neatly placing my uniform back into my closet. Grabbing my discarded schoolbag, I set it down on my desk and started to pull out my school books. I had homework to do, and with the upcoming Spring Dance, I would be swamped, considering I was part of the council that organized these school dances. Then there was my job as an Enforcer in the Bureau. Hopefully, doing some homework would help me calm down a bit, and get my mind off Nanoha, if not for a little while.

Sitting down, I started on my math homework, only to suddenly hear Lindy calling me out to dinner.

"Bardiche, what time is it?" I asked as I organized my desk a bit.

"_The time is 1945 sir_," he replied to my surprise. Looking down at my work, I realized I had done more than I had needed to do for math; a lot more. I didn't recall doing a lot of the questions that weren't part of the assignment, or any for that matter. Sighing tiredly to myself, I finished cleaning up my desk, putting away my math homework, and pulled out my science homework to start working on when I had finished dinner.

The rest of the night had passed by quickly. I had just completed my homework and got some studying time in, and now I was ready for bed. Flopping back onto my bed, I sighed aloud, exhausted from everything. I felt a bit better, but tomorrow would over again. But instead of dwelling on it for now, I needed to sleep. A good night's sleep never hurt, and it always helped one to mull things over before thinking about it with a fresh mind.

Maybe after a little time to think, I can maybe finally admit to my mind what my heart already feels.


	3. Chapter 2

**Road of Love**

**Chapter II**

**I'll keep all my comments pre-story so that it doesn't kill the moods at the end.**

**With the number of people actually reading this story, even if it's silently, I like where I'm going with this story. Hopefully the number of reviews goes up, but knowing the number of hits, and those who are actually putting this story on Alert, will do just as nicely.**

**Whew, writing this chapter felt like a marathon, so to speak. I don't mean that in the negative sense, but a lot of ideas just came out one after the other, giving me lots to work with. I especially love the way I had Fate think about the final encounter between herself and Nanoha on that bridge before she had to leave for her trial. And as I wrote that particular segment, I had been listening to 'Kono hiroi sekai ni', which was a really good song for that particular scene.**

**Anyways, enjoy the chapter.**

The past couple of days have been horrid. I had no idea that hiding my feelings while trying to act normal was so tiring. Immediately flopping down on my bed, I let out an exhausted sigh. Having spent the last couple of days studying for tests, and preparing for the next tennis match, I haven't had much time to think about what Lindy had told me the other day. In one way I was glad. It got my mind off the situation, but yet on another, it delayed me.

I didn't like this one bit. It was killing me, knowing that I had to hide this from Nanoha. I don't believe we had ever hid anything that bugged us from one another. Although, I wonder if she had been well aware of the damage she was causing to herself before that accident.

No.

She wouldn't have based her training courses off of that incident if she did.

Since I had free time, I suppose I may as well try and sort myself out. Getting into a change of clothes, I lay on my back and simply stared at the ceiling.

This situation was so complicated. Although the idea of falling in love with someone wasn't something I was against, the idea of falling in love with Nanoha of all people was still putting me off. It's still so hard to swallow that fact. She was my best friend. Although I cherish her dearly, before the week began I had never had any idea of being with her in the manner I was now feeling.

I wanted to hold her, kiss her, protect her, or so my heart was saying.

My mind was speaking another.

It was saying that it was wrong, that it would affect the friendship. It was saying how two females coming together into a relationship was not right, and that I would be better off with a male. But would I actually be better off?

Would I actually be better off if I gave my heart to a male? I can't really see myself doing that. I don't imagine any particular male doing those which I wish to do to Nanoha. If anything, I felt I had a bit of the male point of view in a relationship. Granted I acted and dressed like a female, I just couldn't see myself being one of those damsels in distress. Snickering at the thought, I couldn't really see Nanoha like that either. It just didn't suit her, especially with the fact she would always Accel Shot or Divine Bust everything that would try to harm her, or those that meant the world to her.

That was amusing thought to say the least.

But yet, I feel that could've been funnier if I shared that with Nanoha. I guess even those things I normally thought funny in private about Nanoha aren't as funny as they used to be. Although I wish things could go back to normal, I guess it can't, not anymore anyhow.

I have a feeling I'm going to lose a lot of sleep, and most of my weekend thinking over this.

I've always thought that Nanoha was pretty, strong, courageous, and a natural leader. I've seen her instruct. I've seen her passion. She loves it dearly. I think if it weren't for the fact she had found magic, I think she may have been a teacher here on Earth. I wonder what kind of passion she would give to me if we were to be a couple.

Wait a minute, passion given to me? Where did that thought come from?

How embarrassing! I don't think burying my face into the sheets is going to help with this sudden blood rush. Where did that thought come from?!

Me and my mind.

Lately I've noticed people have been paying more and more attention towards Nanoha. With the Valentines dance coming up in a few weeks, people have started to try and get closer to her, mostly boys. Now that I think about it, every time I saw someone approach Nanoha and ask her out, my blood boils in rage. I wonder why. Am I jealous? I don't know how that works, but with everything that's been going on, I'm not sure about anything anymore.

What do I feel for her? What do I want from her? Am I that clingy to her? For that matter, am I clingy to those whom I've already considered friends?

I'm not sure anymore.

But I think the biggest question right now is what I feel for her.

I suppose at first it was a close friendship. She was my first friend after all. Now that I think about it, I don't think I would've left the Garden if Nanoha hadn't given me her hand. Even then, I was still devoted to my mother. Although she hurt me in so many ways, my love for her was still there, even if they were the love of Alicia's.

To this day, I'm thankful for the sight of her hand that moment.

Then there was the day we had exchanged ribbons. I think that was the first real spark of it all. I don't know why, but I was blushing a bit throughout the meeting, but then again so were you. When I said you name, it sounded and felt nice as it rolled off my tongue.

I remember everything, word for word. I remember what you said when I asked you to tell me how to start off a friendship. A friendship I've treasured to this very day.

"You just have to call out her name."

"Look her straight in the eye and say her name."

Those were the exact words you had spoken to me, on that afternoon, nearly 7 years ago. Oddly enough, I think our 7 year anniversary is coming out. I remember you taking my hand after the third time I had said your name. By then, both of us were reaching our breaking point, as tears began to form in both of our eyes.

I kept saying your name, over and over again, once breaking from that pattern saying your name was warm. Too this day, I remember it. To think, something that occurred nearly seven years ago and I still remember it with perfect clarity. I had a good memory, but this particular one burned deeply into my soul. One could say that that was the glue that pulled my life back together, while you are the support of my life.

Support of my life…

Now that I think about it, I think I've clung to you for a long time. Although yes we had gone our separate ways at times, having to do our parts of a mission, but as I look back on it, during our fights against Hayate and her Knights, our 3 month training course, our missions, we had always somehow gotten together, whether if it was pre-mission, mid-mission or post-mission, we would always meet each other.

I've always enjoyed your company, more than anyone else's company. You always had brought a light that I could never find with anyone else. Although they provided light and life to me, you brought a different kind. You're like that one spec that stood out in the masses. You were unique in your own way, even more special in my heart than the others. After all, you were my saviour.

In a way, I suppose I've always tried to repay you by being the best friend I could be. As the years went by, we grew closer and closer as friends, establishing ourselves as best friends in everyone's eyes. Everyone who knew us, even by name knew that the two of us were inseparable. No one denied that we were the best of friends, even those as the TSAB recognised us for it.

No matter where we went, how matter how far we were apart, I don't think there wasn't a time I hadn't thought about you. You were my dearest friend. You were the very light in my soul.

You always smiled. Even as I left for trial that day, you smiled as you waved me goodbye. I remember the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes, even as you faded away. Yet at the same time, you were happy. Happy knowing that you and I would meet again, and that we could continue our friendship when I came back.

I also remember saying that the "[next time you're the one in trouble … I'll be the one to save you."

And I did.

Vita had almost struck the final blow, but I had stepped in, and fought her off. Signum had made her way in, but in the end, I had failed. Your Linker Core had been drained, but at least you were alive. I could live with that knowledge.

Our reunion was something left to be desired, even if it was one of our happier moments. I just wished that we could've escaped together, so that we could've celebrated our reunion, not spend it in a hospital room. At least the damage wasn't permanent, and you had gone back to smiling again. Every time I saw that smile, especially if it was directed to me, or it was caused by me, it always warmed my heart, made it flutter. It always had this tendency to brighten up my day with that smile that I would often smile back.

You're smile…

Wait, why is the pillow wet?

Am I, am I crying?

So I am. Gently touching the wet spot, I felt my tears silently soak into the pillow, which oddly enough had been a gift from you. The last one I had when I had first moved in had started to get lumpy, so she had bought me a new one. I had tried to refuse, saying I was fine, but you were quite insistent. Eventually I caved in, and you smiled at me. That did me in ultimately, but I don't regret taking the pillow. It was perfect. After all, it was from you.

Oh god…I think I am in love.

I've never felt this strongly about anyone before. Just thinking about your smile, I feel a light sensation here, in my chest.

It's kind of hard to breathe.

Even as I try to take deep breaths, I can't seem to rid the feeling. Is this normal? I feel my tears continue to pour from my eyes.

Nanoha, I want to see you. I want to be with you. Nanoha, I love you!

I want to be with you in as many things as we do. I want to be able to see you smile, to make you smile. I want to be able to hold your hands the way couples do.

I know I've always been shy about the things I do, but this is something greater than that. I've discovered something that could change our lives.

Falling in love with you, I don't know if this is a gift, or a punishment.

I love you, but, do you love me, anymore than as a close friend? Although I believe I could live with that, I don't know if I could handle anything less than that.

What if you reject me? What if you reject me because you're suddenly afraid; afraid to face this unknown with me, and run away? I know you've grown up in society but, could you look past the prejudice that you grew up with, and see me the way you still do? To see the Fate who's been through so much with you?

I don't know what I would do if you rejected from me. Run from me.

Is it worth it? Is it worth the risk and tell you what I'm starting to understand? Is it worth it to sacrifice everything I've done with you to build this friendship in hopes of evolving it into a relationship? What if this destroys it? I don't know if I could live with it.

Someone help me. I don't know what to do!

"Go to her."

"What?!" Looking around to find the voice, I turn to suddenly see Bardiche float up next to me.

"Bardiche?" I warily asked. "What, what did you say?"

"Go to her, sir," he simply replied. "Express yourself. Tell your true feelings."

"Bardiche…" I couldn't really believe it. Although we had been together since my search for the Jewel Seeds, I've never known Bardiche to speak on his own like that.

Grabbing him, I held him close to me, tears flowing uncontrollably. I was so confused, yet here he was trying to help me, even if he could only do so much. We've been through so much together, that he must've just been just trying to help in whatever way he could.

"Thank you Bardiche," I sobbed. "Thank you so much."

"Your welcome, sir."

But even if I were to tell her, I still need to sort myself out. I don't know if I still fully understood everything that's happening to me. Maybe Lindy could help me a bit more and Arf too. I think I owe them that much. Maybe Hayate could help me a bit as well. She seems wiser than the rest of us. I hope she can at least give me some help.

I guess there's not time like the present. I just hope Lindy is going to be home soon. She was gone when I came home.

Looking around the kitchen, Bardiche in hand, I noticed Lindy quietly work in the kitchen making dinner. Before I even started to move towards her, she suddenly called up Arf to apply the finishing touches, and turned to me.

How she continued to predict my needs, I'll never know, nor would I ever try to find out; at least until I have my own children at the very least, or spend more time than a day or two with Caro and Erio.

"You want to talk about it?" I just nodded in response to her question, knowing what she wanted to talk about, and the fact I had wanted to talk to her.

Following her cue for me to sit down, she simply sat there, staring at me. In my years with her since she had adopted me, she had always waited for me to start saying something. Sometimes it bothered me how she always wanted me to start, but in the long right, it was always my problem that I needed to face. She was here to help me, not solve it for me.

"Whenever you're ready," she simply stated, following by an assuring rub across my head.

Taking a deep breath, I knew I had to talk soon; otherwise I'll never get this done.

"How do I tell this to Nanoha?" There, I asked. Now varying ideas will start forming in my mind as I try to ask everyone their opinion.

For a while, Lindy just sat there, with a thoughtful expression as she tried to figure out the best solution to this, or at least in her mind.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure how, but my best advice, would be to find some alone time with her, probably after school and talk to her then. I know you're not one to go head-on in conversations, but sometimes you need to do that.

"Nanoha-san is a strong person, but like you, she's not all that well reinforced in terms of emotions. When the gravity of your admission hits her, she'll either react in one of two ways. She'll either take it in stride, discussing the situation with you, OR, now I emphasize this because this is the more common reaction, since it's coming from someone of the same gender. She'll panic from the shock and will either outright reject you, or do what most people do: run from the unknown." I flinched at the last statement, considering how I had been thinking about that possibility earlier.

"I know it's a scary thought, but you need to be able to face it, and be ready for it. If you don't, you'll only hurt yourself in the long run." Hurt myself in the long run? It's a bit hard to swallow, but it is true. I've always heard that love could always backfire, and only hurt those who are in love. It's a scary thought, thinking about it. I've heard people could get stuck in some sort of limbo, where they simply just lose everything because they've been rejected.

Some people will get back up on their feet and try again, either on the same person, or move on.

However, I don't know if I could do that; get back up on my feet, and move on.

My relationship with Nanoha, we've gotten in far too deep for either of us to get out of it unscathed. If anything, it'll destroy us both from the inside. Could I really do that, all in hopes of gaining something more? Was the risk really worth it? Were the gains that came with us becoming closer, really outweigh the cons that could happen if she were to reject my feelings? I don't know if I could take that chance.

"You know Fate, what your brain thinks, and what your heart wants are two extremes of the same idea," Lindy suddenly stated, drawing my attention again.

"Your brain is now suddenly telling you all the various risks that come with taking such a chance, and how it would be unwise to even do anything of the sort.

"Now your heart on the other hand, is telling you to go for it, to take the risk. It's telling you that the gains of admitting yourself to her can be exponential that you would happier if you made the choice.

"Also, another thing to think about: What if sometime down the road, you look back, and you wonder what could've happened had you told her, instead of bottling it up inside yourself. Do you think you could live with that, having hidden that from her for so long, that she is now even out your reach to try? Could you live with yourself, knowing that you had a chance to tell her how important she was to you and that you want her in your life for all of eternity? Could you live with that regret on your conscience?"

Could I live with not telling her? Could I? I, I really don't know. I honestly can see myself beyond becoming an absolute mess if Nanoha were to reject me. I honestly couldn't see myself anywhere down the line where I wasn't with Nanoha. I don't know what I would do if she was out of my life.

Lindy is right; Nanoha's an important part of my life. Since that day, nearly 7 years ago, we've done almost everything together. We've trained, fought, studied, and many other things together. I don't want it to end. I want us to continue do everything, and more. I, I want to be with you.

A tissue suddenly appears in my face.

"Dry yourself Fate. You're crying a lot harder than you realise."

Lately, I've felt I'm not really in control of my body. It's as if while I've been contemplating on my relation with Nanoha, someone, or something has been moving my body for me, reacting for me as I try to sort myself out.

But, I think I've almost made my decision. I know I strongly want to be Nanoha, but there are some times I need to work out. I think speaking with Hayate and Yuuno will help. Thankfully it's the weekend, and none of us have any work-related missions.

"Dinner's ready!" Arf suddenly called out. Dinner sounded nice. Hearing the door suddenly open, Chrono-onii-chan suddenly walked in. It's been a while since all of us had dinner together.

For now, I'll put this aside. It's been a while since I've seen Chrono-onii-chan, and I'd like to enjoy it for a while.


	4. Chapter 3

**Road of Love **

**Chapter III **

This was not going to be fun.

With the fact I've started to really understand my feelings towards her, being around Nanoha was going to be harder. But hopefully, I won't have to hold onto this secret much longer.

I hope I'll be ready for when the time comes, and that I'll be able to deal with whatever happens, if she says no.

"Hayate-chan! Fate-chan!" Turning towards the person who called us, we saw Nanoha, Arisa, and Suzuka approaching us, waving their hands in greetings. Waving back, the two of us waited for them to approach us.

"Fate-chan, we'll talk in a bit, okay?" Hayate quietly said, squeezing my shoulder in hopes to assure me. Although I trusted what Lindy said, I wanted to get an opinion from a peer before saying anything to Nanoha.

"Good morning," they greeted us happily.

"Morning," I replied back, although a bit weakly. It was going to be a while before I could say it with the same confidence I used to. Sometimes, I hated what you did to me, Nanoha. But at the same time, I love it.

"C'mon," Arisa declared, pumping her fist into the air. "It's been while since you three have gotten a week off, let alone a day off, in a long time! Let's enjoy it! Away to the mall we go!!!"

You really know how to brighten the mood, Arisa. Maybe this shopping trip will help me sort myself out, and have some fun.

"Yes, yes, Arisa-chan," Nanoha replied, a bright smile on her face as we all headed out towards the mall.

"Hey Fate-chan, you alright?" Nearly jumping out of my skin, I look to my right to see you next to me, looking at me worriedly.

"I'm fine," I replied, trying to sound convincing as I could. I needed the weekend to consult a few more people before I could say anything.

"Are you sure?" she questioned, staring at me accusingly. "You haven't been yourself for a while."

"I'm fine," I said a bit stronger, but trying to maintain my pleasantries. This was such a pain though, having to hide this from you. If I could just last a few more days, maybe I'll tell you.

"I just have a lot on my mind, that's all."

"You want to talk about it? I'm always here for you." Oh you have no idea how I want to just tell you right now.

"No, but thank you," I replied, placing an assuring squeeze on her shoulder. "I'll let you know when I need your help."

That seemed to satisfy her, as she reverted back to that smile of hers. Skipping in circles around me, the two of us idly chatted about various things with the others, ranging from our work, to school, to boys, although we only touched the subject. I had a feeling that Arisa and Suzuka were in a similar boat like me, except that they had a thing for each other. I wasn't quite sure. I think the only ones among us who are possibly attracted to males, or at the very least bisexual, were Nanoha and Hayate.

But honestly, I just hope that no one from school was going to be here at the mall. I have a bad feeling I'd accidentally throttle them, and Bardiche would have no objections assisting me.

At least the morning went well. We didn't run into anyone that would worry me yet. Idly going from store to store, we really just looked around, seeing what was new, buying small trinkets we thought were nice, the usual when Arisa wasn't on one of her shopping sprees.

Unfortunately we haven't had much of a chance to break off so that I could talk to Hayate. I could use her advice right about now. Her experiences from her varying appointments to command positions had given her some insight to helping people. That and her sudden liking towards psychology, it would help if she could use some of her knowledge to help me.

At least now that we were about to have lunch, I could possibly have a chance to talk to Hayate. Thankfully we liked this particular store in the food court, and Nanoha had decided to hold a table for us. With Suzuka and Arisa off somewhere, the two of us were alone, and free to talk.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" she asked as we were standing in line, knowing we probably wouldn't get another chance for a while.

Sighing to myself, I prepared for a horrified response. "I…I…this is so hard to say."

"You love her don't you?"

"Eh?!" I nearly screamed. "How, how did you know?!"

"It's not that hard," she easily replied, before the two of us placed our orders, topped off with Hayate paying for everything.

"The way you look at her, your nervous demeanour, the fact you seem to be trying to hide it from Nanoha-chan, it's not that hard at all." I could only stare at her in amazement. Granted I had expected her observational skills to have grown quite a bit since we've all enlisted but, this was a surprise. A pleasant one or not I had yet to guess. I'm actually a bit stunned right now that it took a shaking from Hayate to actually wake me up.

"Our food's ready." Following her, the two of us sat down on the table Nanoha had reserved for us.

"Be back in a bit," Nanoha quickly stated before getting up and heading out buy her own food.

Sitting down, Hayate started to explain again as we grabbed our orders from the tray. "Nanoha-chan has been talking about your recent behaviour, and based on what I had been observing over the last few days, it wasn't too hard to realise what was happening.

"I'll admit, I was surprised when I realised that you were in love with her," Hayate admitted, a thoughtful expression on her face. "So I'm guessing your problem is that you don't know how to admit this to her, right?" I simply nodded; still a bit stunned from the fact she had easily figured me out. What if she could figure out my other secrets that I wanted to keep to myself, like the fact I secretly 'borrowed' a few of Nanoha's panties?

"Oh don't worry Fate-chan," she suddenly said, waving a hand frantically in front of her. "It's not like I'm a mind reader. It's just that your actions and facial expressions told me everything I needed to know to figure that out." My actions and facial expressions? I always thought that I was good with my emotions. I guess that was only when it really applied, like when I was in battle or the occasion really called for it. Am I that much of an open book?

"Anyways, I'll see if we can get anymore time during this to talk," she stated, lightly patting my back.

Nodding to myself, I began to eat as Arisa and Suzuka sat down. The four of us just amiably talked while we waited for Nanoha.

Glancing down at my watch, I realized that she had been gone for nearly 10 minutes. Looking around, I saw Nanoha approaching us with a guy. Wait, wasn't that Kyohei from my PE block?

"So Nanoha-san, I was wondering about something," he started to ask. I don't know why, but my blood suddenly started to boil. He was going to ask her out to the dance. I know it. It didn't sit with me well, and I had a bad feeling something was going to happen.

"What is it, Kyohei-kun?" she asked back. Sometimes, I wondered if your trusting nature was a bit too far naïve, even for you.

"Would you like to go to the dance with me?" There, he said it, and so smoothly. He didn't even look all that embarrassed. He's just interested in sleeping with you, can't you see that?

"Gomen ne, Kyohei-kun," she apologized. "I have other plans."

"Are you sure? Couldn't you just reschedule or something?" he pressed on. What's with this guy? I think I'll give him a piece of my mind. I moved get up, only to feel Hayate grab my hand under the table before I could even turn to get up. Turning to see her hard stare, I couldn't help but back down. It was that command stare she wore whenever she was serious about something, and sadly, neither Nanoha nor I could ever stand up to it.

"I can't," Nanoha firmly replied and started to head back to us. That's it, just head back to us, and ignore him. I honestly don't know why it bothers me so much, but right now, I had a right to feel this way. I knew him to be a bit of a closet playboy, who would try to sleep with a lot of the girls in my PE class.

Joining us, she released an exasperated sigh before starting to eat her ramen. I smiled faintly at her predicament. In the past week, she had been asked at least twice an hour by people, and every time she always turned them down, saying that she was busy, or something of the sort. But then again, she never had much of an interest in going to the dance in the first place. She was only going because the rest of us were going.

"You alright?" I suddenly found myself asking. And why wouldn't I ask actually? She seemed stressed by this, and needed to talk about it.

"Yeah," she sighed, her annoyance clear in her voice. I couldn't blame her. This was just getting too repetitive, and quite frankly, I was getting annoyed seeing all these guys coming up to her and asking her out, especially when they were interrupting us from something.

"Everyone seems to want a piece of you," Arisa joked, nibbling on a piece of chicken.

"Arisa-chan," Suzuka scolded, clearly not impressed by Arisa's choice of words.

"It seems like it, doesn't it," Nanoha sighed sadly. "Not one of them has been the nice guys. They've always either been the sports jocks who are looking to improve their image, or playboys or perverts who's looking for someone to bed." I suppress it, but the thought of someone touching her in that way, violating or otherwise, just makes me want to shudder. I don't want anyone to touch her like that. I want it to only be me to wrap an arm around her waist, or to touch and taste her very skin that she'd willingly let me and only me do.

"Yeah, it seems that way," I said instead. What else am I supposed to do? Saying anything different would only embarrass Nanoha beyond what I could imagine.

"Anyways, how about we split up after lunch for a little while and do our own shopping?" Hayate suddenly stated. Well at least this helped in two ways: it changed the topic, and maybe we could finish our little talk. But I wonder what she had in mind to talk about.

"Sounds good to me!" Arisa happily chimed, probably glad of the change in topic as well. "I'm heading to the pet store. One of my dogs had a litter and I'm a tad bit short on supplies."

"Same here actually," Suzuka added in thoughtfully.

"Well Fate-chan and I are heading to the fabric shop to gather some supplies for a cosplay I've been meaning to do," Hayate said. Wait, oh no. Please don't tell me you're going to make me go through your supply hunting!

"Then what about me?" you pouted. I swear if I wasn't trying to contain myself and the fact me and her weren't a couple, I'd probably try to eat her right now. I swear she has the most adorable pouts I've seen in my life, and it was not helping with the fact I'm trying to keep a cool mind while in front of Arisa and Suzuka, and by some extension, Hayate.

"Why don't you join Suzuka-chan and Arisa-chan," Hayate offered. Right now, anything would be good so that I could talk to Hayate. I'm not sure how much longer I could go on hiding this.

"Well," Nanoha dragged out for a moment before suddenly snapping your fingers. "Never mind, I just remembered I needed to do something important after lunch."

"Well there you go, so after lunch, we go off do our own things, and meet back in say, an hour here?" Hayate said. It's still somewhat scary seeing her able to put whatever she's learned from her command classes put into use outside the military.

"That works," Alisa simply said, continuing to eat her food, Suzuka and Nanoha quickly agreeing, going back to their meals as well.

With lunch long since finished, Hayate and I went about our business as I stood next to her and watched her look through the various selections of fabrics. I really wondered how she was able to make heads or tails of any of this, but this was Hayate. Ever since she had designed the armour for her knights, she apparently had developed some odd sense for fashion, it was a good sense, but in a cosplay manner. It was actually around that time the rest of us had began to develop our personal likings.

I for one by then had started to pick up on guitar, electric to be exact. I had tried to join the music club, but my personal responsibilities with the TSAB overrode that, so I just play amateur, picking up tips and hints from time to time.

Arisa and Suzuka had their pets, and started something of a daycare center, but on a limited basis doing background checks and such, making sure that pet owners weren't simply dumping the work load onto them or something similar.

Nanoha had picked up on teaching: all kinds, all types. Although her primary form of instruction was combat, she taught basic strategy, basic cooking (although it mostly involved sweets and pastries) and even a little bit of basic close combat, but only touched on the subject, as that was Vita's and Signum's area of specialty.

"So Fate-chan, how did you plan on telling her?" Pulling myself from my thoughts, I forced myself back into the real world, having barely heard Hayate's question, but enough to tell she was asking me how I was going to tell her.

"I'm not exactly sure," I replied, my idea of discussing the fact I loved Nanoha somewhat pointless, since Hayate knew how I was feeling.

"Well what do you have in mind," she offered. "Even if you think it's silly, just say it. After all, you asked for my help, right?"

Sighing to myself, I steeled myself to be berated and told to do something else. "I, I was thinking about telling her on Monday. Go on a bit of a walk in the afternoon, maybe visit some old places, and tell her in private." And now would come the response of how my idea was tacky, and that I should do something better.

"It's a bit tacky," she said, in a thoughtful manner as she continued to look through various fabrics, writing down on a notebook she pulled out. "But I say, stick with it." Stick with it?

"If you do anything else, Nanoha-chan will find it out of character," she explained, now looking directly at me. "If you were expecting me to say something else, like your plan should be this or that, I'm a bit disappointed Fate-chan. You know I wouldn't say something that horrible, unless it was really stupid.

"And for the record, if things go well, it's kind of sweet in a way."

"Thanks, I think?" I really didn't know how to make of this statement of hers.

"Honestly, just be yourself," she stated, going back to looking at the fabrics and taking notes. "If you're nervous, fine, just be nervous. But don't try to act differently. Act the way you always do: be that shy, but incredibly strong-willed person we've always known you to be."

Act the way I always do. It's a bit of a simplistic term, but then again, when has Hayate done anything overly elaborate. I think that's one of the many reasons why Nanoha and I always turn to her for advice. She's simplistic. That's all there was to it. She never goes over the top, and her control was near pinpoint precision (although her attacks lacked that whenever Rein wasn't in unison).

"Now for worst case scenario, which you've already thought about I believe, Nanoha-chan is going to be scared and will probably run from the shock of it.

"First of all, don't force her to stay. If she needs time alone, give it to her, but after a few days, you need to confront her. To possibly avoid that all together, and only for her to be shocked, and somewhat afraid, tell her slowly. Don't just all of a sudden say, 'Nanoha-chan I'm in love with you.' That will be like getting a hit from your Plasma Zamber, to put things into context.

"I really don't know how to go about this, but somehow first of all see how Nanoha would feel to the ideas of lesbians and such. May as well see how much work you're going to have to do to get her to trust you enough to get into that kind of relationship.

"However, you have to also be ready to accept the fact your friendship with Nanoha is going to just shatter forever, or be nothing but a close friend; A confidant at most, but never more. On the note of losing the friendship, you have to be ready for Nanoha to on the spot suddenly hate you just because you are a lesbian. However, that is an extreme case, and that usually comes with a bad experience with other lesbians. But, in the 6 years you and I have known her, she's never had to deal with it, so that won't be a problem.

"Then there's the fact she'll run right off the bat, telling you something along the lines of staying away from her. In that case, she'll most likely turn to me about it, and that'll probably tell me everything I need to know about how that turned out, but I'm going off topic."

I could only dumbly stare at her as she continued on. How well educated was she? I mean, sure the five of us were part of the top 15, but Hayate always stood at number one. Never faltering in her studies, she's always been able to make up for anything she's missed due to our duties as an officer and still hold the number one spot in our grade. And here she was, giving me advice about confessing to Nanoha, while she herself hasn't been in love, as far as I know.

"Are you listening Fate-chan?!" Uh oh, busted.

"Sorry," was all I could say. Sheepish yes, but considering she had busted me on not listening to her, there wasn't much I could really say to her.

"Really Fate-chan," Hayate huffed, a little annoyed. "As I was saying before you decided to rudely tune me out, Nanoha-chan might do or say something that might hurt you, badly. However, you can't let that get you down. You need to be able to get right back up, and be ready to try again. If you love her as much as you say you do, you shouldn't be lying down, and taking the punishment of rejection, or her fears. You just pick yourself up, and try again. In the long run, if you're successful, I promise you, you'll live a very happy life with Nanoha-chan."

"How can you be so sure?" I could help but ask. How could she be so sure everything would be alright?

"Because Nanoha cares for you deeply," she replied, placing an assuring squeeze on my shoulder. "You of all people should know how deeply she cares for you, and in all honesty, it borderlines what you feel towards her. It's just the fact her heart hasn't said a thing that's stopping her. If you play your cards right, you'll spark something within her, that'll bridge that gap for you."

"I see."

"So, do you think you're ready for it on Monday?"

"I, I think so."

"Well then," the snapping of her notebook closing surprising me, "let's find the others. I'm sure Nanoha-chan is feeling a bit lonely right now. How about finding her?" I couldn't help but smile in amusement, and pointed behind her. Turning around, the two of us quickly left the store and caught up with Nanoha, who apparently had been wandering around for a while, since she had finished her own business.

Peeking at the bag in her hand, I noticed it was from the music store I liked going to. What was she doing there? I don't believe she played any instruments. Although I recalled Erio mentioning he needed some equipment for his flute and Caro saying she needed strings for her violin. I wonder how they're doing, considering there's only so much they can be self-taught before they'll need someone to help them.

"Gomen ne, Fate-chan, Nanoha-chan, I need to get going!" Hayate's voice pulled me from my thoughts, and to my surprise, instead of standing with us, she seemed to be running towards the nearest exit and waving.

"I forgot I need to do some shopping for dinner and prepare for it. I'll see you at school on Monday!"

"Ja ne, Hayate-chan!" Nanoha called out.

"Bye," I called out.

With Hayate out of sight, Nanoha turned to face me with that smile of hers again. "C'mon Fate-chan, let's get going." I simply nodded, afraid my voice might make me say or do something stupid.

"Let's go!" you brightly exclaimed, grabbed my hand and started to pull me towards the food court.

Your hand, it's warm. Just like that day.

"So was yours."

"Huh?!"

"If you were thinking, that was quite loud, Fate-chan," you stated, giggling at me as I tripped over my own tongue trying to recover from that sudden slip-up. That was not supposed to come out (at least not yet anyway).

"You know, Fate-chan, if something is really bothering you, you should talk to me," you quietly say as we fell in step with one another.

"I'm here for you Fate-chan. I've always been, since we've met. That's not going to change one bit."

"How can you say that with confidence? How do you know nothing will happen between us that'll change everything?" I knew it sounded harsh, but what if my worst fears came to pass, and you ended up hating me for it, or at the very least, became really uncomfortable around me?

"It will not, because Fate-chan will always be Fate-chan, and I will always be me. Nyahaha!"

"Can you really promise me that," I asked. You looked back at me, the concern in your eyes immediately sharpened. Without warning, you started to drag me away from the food court, and pulled out your cell phone and called someone.

"Suzuka-chan," oh no, please don't tell me you're doing what I think you are! "Something's come up, so Fate-chan and I won't be meeting up with you two, and Hayate had to do some grocery shopping. Tell Arisa-chan that something personal came up and that we needed to deal with it. Okay? Arigatou Suzuka-chan and gomen ne." Not now! If you're going to do what I think you're doing, I really hope that this'll turn out for the best.

We ended up leaving the mall. I tried to get you to talk to me, but you remained silent. Apparently you wanted absolute privacy before we talked. I didn't mind privacy, but this is a bit much, isn't it?

What's going to happen? I know you're going to ask me what's wrong now, and knowing how stubborn you are, you're going to keep me in one spot until I told you. Please don't hate me for what I'm going to tell you.

Coming to a stop in the park, you spun around and stared at me hard. "Fate-chan, what's going on? You've been acting really weird, and this sudden need for me to promise you something was the last straw. Something's wrong, and you know it. So please Fate-chan, what's going on?"

What's going on? You're what's going on. Do you have any idea what you're doing to me? Apparently you have some as your expression suddenly softened, and I found myself being pulled into a hug.

I'm crying aren't I? I'm crying because I'm afraid of what's going to happen next. I'm afraid of ruining our friendship. I'm so afraid that she's going to hate me for this. I'm so afraid that-

"Do not be afraid, sir."

Bardiche?

"You must conquer your fear. Speak your mind, sir."

"C'mon Fate-chan." I suddenly find myself looking into your deep sea-blue eyes. Of your beauty, your eyes I've always considered the most beautiful part of you. Would I be able to see those eyes shine brightly after today? Would I be able to be the one to finally see love in those eyes? To see the joys, the sadness, the pains in your eyes? All I can do is hope for the best.

Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself. Hayate, I hope your advice helps.

"Can you promise me you will be here, even after I tell you what's wrong?"

You looked at me strangely. I could tell you're really confused, unsure of how to answer me. But it was there for only a moment, before you looked back at me confidently.

"I promise you Fate-chan. I'll be here."

This was it.

"Walk with me?" You simply nodded we started to walk.

"Nanoha, a question for you, how," I hope your answer is positive, "how do you feel about, about lesbians?"

"Fate-chan, what brought this up?" you asked, red lightly gracing your cheeks. Perhaps there was hope.

"Could, could you please just answer?" I need this to base my responses.

"Well, it really depends on the context," you replied with a thoughtful expression. "On the whole, I really respect them. They have to go through a lot of work to make the relationship work, especially with how society views them.

"In terms of being in one, I'm just looking for Ms. Right at the moment, you know?" You turn to face me with that beautiful smile of yours. I hope you'll continue to smile for me.

Wait a minute. "Eh?!" Ms Right?! She's in the same boat as me! "So, you're gay?"

"I guess I never told you," you sheepishly replied. "Yuuno-kun and I tried it out while back: didn't work out. I only realised it when he tried to kiss me."

"I see." That was all I could say. I wasn't even expecting that.

"Wait…Nanoha, how are you so open about this?" Especially since I'm quite terrified about letting you know about my own sexuality.

You simply shrugged in response. "I'm not really sure, Fate-chan. I guess I always was, but I just never really understood it until recently, you know?

"So why do you ask? Does it have to do you with your problem?" I simply nodded as I put together the next few questions.

"How, how would you feel, if a girl came up to you and said they had fallen in love with you?"

You giggled a bit as you took a moment to answer. "I'd probably react as if you had thrown your Plasma Zanber at me. I'd run from the shock of it. You know how I feel about love. I've never felt I fitted in well in that circle of love my family had. I was the odd one out. If anything, I'd rather be told slowly."

"What do you mean?" I may have my answer right here.

"I'm not sure," you sighed, stopping and leaning against the railing as you looked on out towards the sea. "I suppose I'd rather be introduced to the idea of being loved, maybe talk about it a bit, or at the very least, let me figure it out."

"I see," I replied, leaning against her railing next to her.

"It's a nice breeze," you commented. I couldn't help but smile to myself as we spent the moment in silence. We were standing on the very bridge everything started.

"You know why this place is important to me, Nanoha?" You looked at me curiously, waiting for me to continue. "Because this is where it all began. This is the place you and I truly began our friendship."

"Yeah," you agreed, staring out at the horizon. "It was here I told you how we became friends. About seven years ago, today, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was." Taking your hand in mind, I quietly recited what you had said to me that day. "You just have to call out her name."

You turned to look at me as together we said, "Look at her straight in the eye and say her name."

As I gazed into your eyes, I think I saw the realization come to you as they widened slightly.

"Fate-chan, you, don't mean…"

I just shrugged it off, and stared off back at the horizon, your hand still held in mine. "Who knows…but…you are the most important person in my life. Don't ever forget that."


End file.
